2023 Art Summary

It's the end of the year, which means it's time to do the usual and make one of these yearly summaries. See 2021 and 2022 as well if you wanna.

me's 2023 summary of art. all images will be fully described later on this page.

This year I wanna be a little different and analyze why each one of these is my favorite of the month, and try to think of what I can do better next year. Because I have been very uninspired with my art lately, only sketching some crappy stiff ideas before being utterly incapable of doing anything further. Why reflect so much, especially publicly when we all share way too much of ourselves online? Well, I'm thinking, I love seeing other people discuss their creative process and personal lives, and maybe I wanna do that too. Perhaps we share too much of our lives, but maybe we don't actually show what matters, though? I think this matters, I think so at least. This isn't doxxing the last location I ate at to prove that I eat at the same places the trendy influencers do, but instead sharing my thoughts on my art and my life... I guess. Maybe I'm just trying to justify it to myself, who the fuck even cares lol

January

Digital art: Full-body view of a Genshin Impact fan character. She is floating in place with a pleased expression, wearing a thick blue coat and casting ice magic between her gloved hands.

This was a secret santa gift for my friend Holly. Looking back, I should have shaded with more saturated colors, but overall I’m still very happy with this. Humans are a weak point for me, and I’m proud I did so well on this. Clothes and hair are also a weak point, but I kinda .did good here.

I originally planned on making this some sort of digital painting, even went and made a quick background for it based on some painting tutorials I’d seen, but… Don’t do the background first, it feels so stifling and I couldn’t make anything work. So, I did a float-y pose with a blank background for the finished product.

February

Digital art: Grayscale painting of a man from the back, hunched over with a hand over his neck. He is nude, his bare upper back and shoulder visible. Only part of his face is visible, and his eye can clearly be seen looking off beyond the camera.

A lined/painting hybrid sort of thing featuring Damian. I’m still VERY happy with this and have no flaws I’d wish to fix, as this serves its purpose perfectly. And its purpose was to be the thumbnail for his Spotify playlist.

I worked in grayscale and while I have made a few versions colored with gradient maps, the black and white is still my favorite. I experimented with various brushes and had a lot of fun. I think the emotion I wanted to go for came through well. A bit twisted and self-reflective, yet still looking out off-screen at some unknown party. Wrapped up in his own issues but closely watching whoever can see.

Reflecting on this, I wonder if the reason why I haven’t been able to draw Damian this well lately is because I’m completely aimless in comparison. I had a practical purpose and emotional intention I wanted to communicate here, I need to do that sort of thing more often.

March

Digital art: Reference sheet for Damian, a human male with cat-like characteristics such as full body fur, pointed ears, claws, fangs, and a tail. The reference shows his typical clothes, what he looks like under them, and a few details such as his back stripes and claws.

An old version of Damian’s reference sheet. Still quite nice, though I’ve improved my anatomy quite a lot more since. I’ve also since changed his design a bit, made his back stripes more pointy and busy. These smooth looping stripes are cool, but don’t fit him.

Anyways, this is all I drew in March, so it has no competition. Still, it’d probably win anyways, it’s quite pretty yet still communicates plenty of information. I’m happy with it.

Damian deserved a nice clear reference sheet and he got it here... You know, I think this kinda contributed to me later in the year realizing I'm into feet. Lovingly tending to the details of his feet and making sure they have their proper form and weight was like, hm, I care about this a little too much. And I only improved more on those feet later, wahoo!

April

Compilation of VRChat screenshots showing an avatar of a purple snake-like alien character in various poses and locations.

I have to admit I went fucking beast mode in April. I had already been playing with Blender to make a 3D model of a hexapod, but in April something in me snapped and I took that model and turned it into Aroo and ported it into VRChat. I modeled it entirely myself, textured it, rigged and weight painted it, imported it into unity, did the VRChat avatar descriptor shit and added physbones etc, then published it to VRC.

There were... Many complications.

VRChat screenshot of a very glitched and broken hexapod avatar.

So. Fucking. Many. Complications. But I did it! I fucking did it, dude! I figured all this shit out ON MY OWN! Just me and YouTube videos! Holy shit!

I need to model more, that's something I can vow to do more this year. I had a fuckload of fun with this, despite the errors making me rip my hair out and such.

May

Digital art: Miguel O'Hara tied up with red ropes and grinning while suspended upside-down.

While this is a comic panel redraw, even traced in a most areas, I’m still quite happy with it.

Inspired by the Spider-Verse films of course, I went bright and zany with the colors, and did lots of fun experimentation. I highlighted with ben-day dots and shaded with big bold shapes rather than hiding it along the edges of the piece. Fun fact though, I drew almost all of this before the movie came out. I just had to wait to see it myself before finishing it, because I needed references for Miguel's face, but didn't wanna see spoilers.

I also think it’s still hot. The bondage, rope turned red to look like typical shibary ropes, is traced from the comic and is such a total unrealistic mess but man, the squeezed bulge and restrained legs are sweet. Those boots, too, phew. After attending a shibari panel at Anthrocon, a few months after this was drawn, I did get the idea in my head to draw a second part to this with much safer bindings. I thought of this while various... ties? Were demonstrated on me and it was emphasized over and over how important it is to avoid pinch points and to not cut off circulation and all that crap. I was like, damn, I'm drawing some unrealistic shit here.

Miguel is an important character to me. He and Pedro Pascal’s take on Joel Miller made me realize I like men after all. The revulsion I felt wasn’t me being a lesbian, no, that wasn’t normal at all. It was a result of me being a man who refused to be seen as a woman in any relationship, and being with a man pre-transition was destined for me to be the woman. Perhaps you read that and thought, what the fuck, you're okay with being a lesbian but not a bi woman? Well, that is a thing that is too complicated to get into without being severely off-topic. Like and subscribe and comment how much you want me to release a tell-all about my gender journey.

So yeah. He awakened me. Hard. He is good looking and he got me into comic books. I’d love to do more fun and genuine erotic art like this. I get so caught up and ashamed of my erotic art, but I just gotta have fun with it like this. My 18+ art has the same problem with a lot of my latest issues I think, it's all stiff and uninspired. I need more reason than just "I should draw this" I think.

June

Digital art: A human and a hexapod alien in hazmat suits oversee a field of blue flowers on a clear day. The alien asks: Want to get some coffee after this? The human replies: Sure.

A full scene taking place on my world featuring two random people. This is what I love. This post on FA has the full story, but basically, these two are harvesting an aphrodisiac flower. So, yes, sex pollen is canon here.

I think the concept is hot, but wanted to sort of take apart the idea and look at it from a different perspective- That of the workers harvesting it in an industrialized world. Of course sex pollen would be harvested and sold! The workers wouldn’t want to be horny during the whole shift, so they’re covered in unsexy (unless you’re into it?) hazmat suits to protect themselves from the spores. They’re just coworkers, they’ll have some food later in the day since they get off early in the day and they’ll have fun.

I’m not happy with the flower fields, I had no idea how to handle a field of such oddly designed plants. If I were to do this again, I’d do more vague scribbles with blue blobs rather than such detailed stuff like this. But, for a drawing I did in just a day or two, it’s great, I’d love to do more quick worldbuilding stuff like this. Impressing no one, just sharing my world.

I have to admit, the reception to this kind of turned me off from using my worldbuilding Tumblr blog anymore. I knew my few mutuals weren't into posting and sharing NSFW stuff, and my followers sure weren't expecting NSFW stuff, and even though I was tactful with my description of the flower's effects under the cut, I still got a reply jokingly saying they were unnerved by the concept. Like. Alright. Whatever. I need more openly horny people in my life.

July

Traditional art: Various doodles of hexapods drawn with white pencil on black paper.

A series of black paper sketches of my species, the hexapods. I like to finish a sketch and move on, usually left-to-right, so you can see my progress as I fiddle with my method.

I did these over the course of just a couple days. It was when I was dog-sitting for my family while they were on vacation. I was alone there and at the time had no one to visit me and no way to leave. But it was kind of fun. I’m introverted and enjoy having periods of high-socializing and absolutely zero socializing.

Despite ArtFight being this month, this is still my favorite. All of my 2023 ArtFight pieces feel a little... Forced.

Anyways, these were all fun. I have no issues with them. My only problem, actually, is that I don’t use this black paper enough. Digital art is my crutch, my savior, and my enabler. I should do traditional pencil-and-paper stuff more for my own sake. Hell, why don't I start soon by bringing this sketchbook with me to family events this christmas.

August

Digital art: Damian in grayscale against a red background firing a pistol at something off-camera.

A drawing I did for the Yeehawgust prompt Warning Shot. Damian is sort of like a cowboy, he’s cowboy-coded to me at least. Referenced off a Red Dead Redemption 2 screenshot, I love how this looks. I wanted to go with a paper textured background, solid colored shading and highlights, and bold pitch-black shading. I slayed all of it. Damian is my Gender Character. Especially with these recent months, with me using him to explore my trans identity and my pivoting his story to be more about manhood and masculinity. He is the sort of masculine that I wish I was but that I could potentially still achieve in my life.

If I could go back, I’d be even bolder! Bright colors, harsher contrasts! Other than that, I love this. This is exactly the kind of shit that I need to return to and do more rather than trying to be something I’m not. I have an unfortunate issue where I don't have as much to say about the positive things, because it's just repeating This Good over and over.

September

Digital art: Reference sheet for the character Aland Holger. He is a man with cat-like traits, his fur is gray and vertically striped. He can be seen partially nude and in a suit.

Reference sheet for a minor yet very important character in my story, working title being “Spiral.” Which is the same title as the setting itself, yeah… The Neocities site I made for that setting has already been linked.

I think it looks a little wonky. Now, I want all manticores (The name of the cat-people of Spiral) to look a little *off*, but I want it to be purposeful, this was more accidental. I think when drawing this, my style and pursuit of realistic anatomy were awkwardly clashing.

But, it still looks good. The problems are mostly the face. The hands and feet are amazing, and I fucking slayed the suit. His markings are sick as shit, so really this was quite awesome.

I don’t quite know how I’d improve this. It’s supposed to be just a plain character reference, so I suppose its fine how it is.

October

Traditional art: Various skulls of various species drawn with purple ink.

More assorted doodles, this time pen drawings of various animal skulls. No pencil sketches underneith, just full freehand copying references. Again, did the thing where I don’t touch up stuff once I start the next drawing.

Really happy with these. Look how much the thick lines and pure inked shading helped make the later drawings pop! Especially when it was sketchy and messy! I love these and should do way more.

November

Digital art: A three-legged tripod alien. It has two heads that look like human hands on long necks that meet in a mass of brown mane on the creature's body. Its skin is white and its three legs end in hooves.

Fan-art of Nessus the puppeteer from the novel Ringworld. The novel was, eh… Not sure on that still. But the puppeteers… Now those are quite the awesome design. I don’t normally do fan art, but I wanted to this time so I did.

I love how this looks. I was a bit too cowardly with the pitch black shading and hid it towards the edges, but ah well. Where would I even put more of the shading, y'know? Still think its awesome and I should stick more to stuff like this.

Around this point was when I was really art blocked so finishing this within a day or two meant a lot. I had a few references, but wasn’t torturing myself following them perfectly, I just… Drew! And it was nice. Though I have weird feelings about this, and was anxious to share it in certain discord servers as I was afraid it'd be labeled too freaky and would need to be censored for the nebulous online concept of "body horror" where anything from a werewolf to a physical disability can count as too scary for the kiddos, but thankfully, no such issue occurred.

December

Photograph of a fursuit tail in an arcade setting. The tail has layered blue stripe markings with red details at the top and at the tip.

My fursuit tail! I rushed this really hard to finish this within 2 days of receiving the fur so that I could wear the tail to the Furbowl. As you can tell from the picture, I managed it! I’m very happy with the results. I think I did an amazing job designing the tail and did good work improving on the way I do tail bases.

I'm actually a bit anxious that the rest of the fursuit won't live up to how good this tail looks, but... Oh well. Man I have issues. I love the lighting of this but feel bad about how my body looks here. Why am I standing like that?? But alas, just paying attention to it makes it worse, I think, right? Moving on.

Where do I go from here?

As I've said, I've been art blocked. I barely drew in December. I'm pretty fucked because I've got Secret Santa art exchanges I owe people, and I'm not workin' on 'em. But I have ideas, I know a lot about the character I am to draw, so I hope I can harness some full creative energy into it to make a piece that tells some of that characters story rather than simply drawing a picture of a guy standing around

The problem with my current art is I keep trying to do digital paintings and failing at it... I stare at the works of artists I love, like Jonathan Vair Duncan, and I wonder why I can't do that. Well, doofus, it's because you are new to painting unlike Jonathan! What art of mine do I love, what art do I love? Comic-style shit!

Writing this out, I also realized I'm still completely in love with the 3D models that I've made. So, the 2024 goals?