Gender Queer: A Memoir
Originally reviewed on February 28, 2024.
Part of my Banned Books reading goal.
A memoir my high school self would have read over and over and over again, just like how I had read Fun Home over and over and over again.
As with all memoirs it's hard to give a review on its actual contents. What do I judge it on? How your life turned out? How much I related? You can only add so much artistic flair to your life story before it stops being autobiographical, so I feel like I can't even judge the writing. It's like... Yeah you sure did just describe some life events, cool, thanks for sharing!
4 stars because I must admit I wish there were more times where present day Maia corrected eir past selves misconceptions. I really do not appreciate the self-identification of "autoandrophilia" being glossed over with not a single word of critique towards the transphobic man who coined the term, Ray Blanchard. Autoandro/gynophilia theory is used in transphobic rhetoric to this day, and implying that its even vaguely legit is not a good look. Then moments like not constructively challenging the idea that AFAB trans people just hate being women, not acknowledging that it's very Not Normal to feel severe pain during a pap smear, etc. Things like that are my qualms here.
In regards to the sexual aspects of this book, I really do not find them to be that graphic at all. They are depicted, but they are not meant to be salacious or titillating in any way. They are graphic, yes, but no more graphic than the other things people see out and about in the world and in libraries. I think keeping this in a high school library would be appropriate. People love to say "children" when referring to this book as if the teens reading this aren't also the age where they'd be working their first jobs and driving.
It is quite interesting how despite similar life experiences I did not relate very much. Despite being a trans man (who identified as nonbinary during my entire teen years) who was also on Tumblr, I still relate more to Alison Bechdel's Fun Home. Which isn't saying one is better than the other, it's just interesting to me that similar histories of identity do not inherently mean we'll feel the same. Which is good honestly, we love diversity.
The Explicit Pages, a Catwyrm Exclusive
Much of the controversy around this book stems from its "pornographic" contents. I screenshotted moments in this book that I found explicit, so let's look at them rather than speak of them.
The above page is the closest one could describe as pornographic, directly depicting two men having sex for a masturbation fantasy. But it is obviously not pornographic. There is a difference between sexual art, erotic art, and pornography. I would describe this flatly as sexual art, meant to represent the mental image without any attempt at titillating the viewer. I mean, ask yourself, do you find this arousing? Or is this as brisk and impersonal as discussing the fact that sex exists? I feel the latter.
I've seen no mention of this despite this being pretty graphic as well. I am surprised I have seen no whinging conservatives complain that this taught children how to go out and buy sex toys. But seeing this page would involve actually reading the book, so I suppose that is why it is not mentioned. Again, I sense no attempt at this being arousing, instead it is actually quite awkward.
This is the "graphic oral sex scene" that you've heard so much about. There is sexting about sucking the dildo before this. But this is the actual depiction. There is a photograph of someone holding this page up to prove a point. Perhaps when depicted alone one could picture that more happened before, or more happens after, but there is not. I don't quite see how this is any more explicit than the gay sex fantasy. It's also just... Not that bad. Okay, maybe as an adult you look at this and go "Yeowch! That's too far!" but when I was in high school I was reading Fun Home over and over and over again, and that too contained an oral sex panel. And that panel actually involved unseen flesh and blood genitalia. That did not traumatize me. I already knew what sex was, and I already had been viewing actual pornography. I was actually also reading My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness around that age too now that I think about it, and that was way more graphic.
I did not actually find this part to be explicit at all, but after viewing articles I found that this may very well be the moment that many have referred to as a 14-year old masturbating to "CP," an acronym I will not write out because I fear this website's fate if I did. I really can't give a fuck about this one, they both appear developed and adult-proportioned to me.
★★★★☆